I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
