let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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