i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you will always have a special place in my vag
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
