Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
