yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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