32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
