I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
