Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
