You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
