Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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