you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
