it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
