When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
