Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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