I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
