Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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