He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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