Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
