How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
