Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
