Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
