Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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