I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
