Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
