You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
