Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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