Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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