how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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