What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
