I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
