But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
