Dual....:-)
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
