You smell like stripper and shame
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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