You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
