Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
