You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so explain again why im purple
no
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
