Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
