After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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