You smell like stripper and shame
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
