if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
