I think I died a long time ago.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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