I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
