Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
