No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
