I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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