I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Randomize
