she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
