Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
operation harelip BJ is a go
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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