these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
