I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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