Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
